Cloudy day

 abstract I did recently I don't normally do abstracts but I kinda had fun with this. It is entitled Emergence.

Feeling a bit better today. Feeling like I've taken hold of my self again even if only for a little while and am just rolling with the flow of life. Take each day as it comes and see what it brings kind of outlook. 
I got some drawing in yesterday and have been in sleep mode it seems I guess making up for going without sleep for about a week. 
I'm also in organizational mode which sort of clashes with the sleep one. 
Anyway for lack of anything better atm here are a list of things that pick me up.
Music: I have playlists for that though I've noticed project playlist decided to change themselves up and turn into a copy of grooveshark....which don't get me wrong I love grooveshark but playlist didn't bog down my computer when trying to draw and I could have a playlist embedded here ....and I can't now. I don't like it. Plus it crashes constantly now. I am checking out Iheartradio atm and so far it works for when I draw. Usually something like Skrillex, Ellie Goulding, dance, etc work for me though sometimes alternative and rock do as well. Music definitely can influence my art and my mood. 
Drawing: Works a lot of the time though if you have a lot going on around you it is harder to get done and therefor may just add to the anxiety level/frustration. That and if the music (which seems to be a requirement for me) won't work right or your drawing tablet (if doing digital) is not cooperating ...or you are just having a case of artists block. I think another reason I am feeling organizational right now is I kind of like the whole zen flow of a room etc and it just isn't happening in any room in this house right now. Then when I try to clean (organize)  or rearrange that just stresses every one else out and they all get irritable and grouchy. Which in turn makes me the same way. I want to work on my crafts though which is harder to do with a 3 year old who is just as interested in what you are doing (which would be fine if I could get her interested in doing something herself beside me but with tiny beads and such...doesn't work) also there is that organizational problem and right now the way things are set up is not conductive to any kind of productivity. Mainly set up to keep toddlers out of it. (exceptionally smart ones that can figure that shit out) So it is kind of a pain to get to and etc. 
 Writing: Doing that now. I'd like to actually write stories and I even have a blog set up for that and it has been running through my mind more and more.... I guess I need to try it. I have written before I don't know why I'm suffering the equivalent of stage fright with it now. That and I have like 3 ideas going and all very different settings from one another. Guess I just need to pick one and find the time. 
Singing: I do karaoke (playstation) with one of my girls (the other two older ones don't sing as much and the youngest is well...too young) I really enjoy it and have surprised myself with my own voice a few times but it definitely has to be a song I know....I'm sure that is true for most people. 
Those goofy wall posts on facebook or Jenna Marbles videos: I completely adore Jenna and her awesomeness....nuff said.
Dance: This one I have had one and off times with. I totally love it but haven't been able to get as in to it for awhile. That is something through the years I've always loved. More recent years it has been belly dance which I may start back up in the fall. I love being physical which you would think the opposite considering my health problems but with the RA it helps the pain some if you choose the right outlets. Like going for walks. What I miss sort of is being able to go for one of those with some music and tune everything else out. That or walks in the woods. One of these days I hope to make a goldfish pond. 
Talking to my friends: Right now they all have so much going on themselves that while I do this I prefer to keep it more light than not. We usually vent to each other some but just so much going on.... 
I'd much rather be laughing and enjoying life. Sometimes it likes to throw me curves that makes that a bit harder and it may knock me down for a bit but I will always pull myself back up. It may take me longer but I will. 
Though if I do find my instincts are serving me right ....I guess I will just have to wait and see if things change and how.