Thoughts on spirituality

 I would like to say how much I appreciate when my higher power points me in the right direction keeps me on track and guides me down the right path. I used to pay rapt attention to it (in the form of that tugging at the corner of your mind feeling you get or intuition) and then I guess for a long time I didn't follow so closely as I did and I missed those little tugs at the corner of my consciousness. I've been working on de-cluttering in all senses and have found it has come back with a strength that is clarifying and I feel I am back on track.   Again everyone has their own paths. Their path is meant for them. You cannot walk someone else's or have them walk yours.  Your higher power may show itself to you in a way that speaks to your spirit in the form of one religion while mine may show itself to me in another as it speaks to my spirit in a way I can understand it. I get tired of hearing the my religion is right and yours is wrong debate. What gets me is when you hear it from people in a religion that has so many sects to it. (branches so to speak) which one is right? They each think they are. Seems too many focus on that. Live and let live. 

Anyway I appreciate when there is something we really need and we can't normally afford or it is hard to find and I'll get this strange urge to go to a certain place and lo and behold there it is and at a price we can afford. (usually hidden in the thrift store or something when it is something like that or someplace we don't normally go) We find our way to it or it to us.  I appreciate those moments. I try not to ask for them because to me that sometimes seems such a trivial thing to ask for but I appreciate it more than words can say. I will work harder to keep my mind clear and de-cluttered enough to feel/hear those little tugs when I get them. I will continue to work on my spiritual/mental growth and my physical health as they go hand in hand. I will continue to try and pass along what I can to help whomever I can. Whether it be in wishing light and love or whether it is in physical form or assistance. I will continue to learn and hopefully grow. 

I feel like the key to life is balance. It applies to pretty much any aspect of life. Patience is another. Trying to take a moment to see things from a perspective than your own (doesn't mean you need to adopt that perspective just try to get an idea of how the other side is seeing it so you can gain an understanding) Another I've found is do NOT adopt another's perspective or perception as your own. I know this sounds identical to what I just said but there is a slight difference. The first is understanding why a person may think/feel the way they do. The second one has more to do with not letting someone else form your opinion of something/someone FOR you. They may have their reasons for disliking someone or something or liking it and those should not be your reasons. Keep your sense of self. I've mistakenly passed judgement (also wrong) on someone based on things I was told in the past. Later to find out it wasn't true. I've also had people pass judgement on me for the same...basically listening to someone and changing their own opinions/thoughts based solely on words not on what they actually knew for themselves. Things that were not true but they decided due to the words they were told they must be. Later the person who said what they did retracted some of it but by then the damage was done and the person who passed judgement is stuck on the opinion they formed from before. It is one thing to take others opinions and perceptions into consideration but quite another to adopt said opinions/perceptions as your own without thinking/seeing/ perceiving with your OWN thoughts and senses. I see this doing a lot of damage in everyday society. People assume too quickly based on other peoples ideals and not their own. I've seen a lot of people going through this right now and it is sad to see. As conclusion show kindness and consideration to those around you. Stop and take the time to at least get a sense of why/how they feel what they do or act the way they do or think what they seem to be thinking. (it sounds complicated but it doesn't need to be) That being said don't make yourself a doormat either for others. Find your balance. 

Before school rush

 *skip past the lilly pad pic to skip the health issues part LOL With the start of school fast approaching we've been super busy squeezing in some fun time (still didn't do everything we planned but hey) getting supplies, getting appointments done much like everyone else really.  We finally got our fishing licenses which turned out to be way cheaper than we'd thought (if we had of known we'd have done it way way sooner ) Turns out fishing may be the one thing that will get my mom out of the house she wants to go really bad. Sooo we are hoping to take her by to get her license and then when school starts maybe take her when the weather is cool enough. She is honestly pretty fragile. She just celebrated her 76th birthday and we were told a couple years or so back that she basically wouldn't be around but she is still here and doing pretty good for all the health issues she's had. She suffers from Parkinson's which is something I may have to eventually test for. Right now I prefer not to think about it. My Rhuematologist put me on something for my arthritic pain and it seems to be helping enough to help me get around more. Though my severe D3 deficiency (almost very dangerously so) along with calcium deficiency has apparently had their own effects. 

 I have lost several teeth due to breaking (may also be attributed to Sjogren's) and this last one I had pulled had an unusually long root so it was quite an experience for the dentist as well to get it out. I was beginning to worry. I am still pulling bone and tooth shards out. Though I will say it feels a lot better. The other complication is my bones. My feet especially my right suffered fissures in the bones so that now I only put weight on my heel and my big toe on that foot. I was seen by the foot dr. who put me in one of those walking cast boots and unfortunately rubbed a hole in my leg the size of a quarter. (still healing) also not long after my hubby severely sprained his ankle and isn't supposed to be on his either so neither of us were able to stay off them as much as we needed. I had thought a fissure was not as severe as it was. I knew the bones were bending upwards in a bow shape which the dr pointed out and that that was not good and that my achilles tendon was way too tight (gave me exercises to do) and I knew fissures meant something like small cracks...I did not even realize that technically that means a broken foot. Especially when all the toes except for the big toe are involved (he checked) Sooooo guess I need to take it easier and wear the boot like I'm supposed to. I had thought for a broken foot they do a cast. They actually don't. Depending on the type they do like what they did with me. So anyways I go back in soon and see what he says about my healing. He did say it would be a long process. 

 Anyway enough about the health issues. Otherwise things aren't too bad. I have a ton of craft/art projects lined up that I am anxious to start on but am waiting on school to start (which it is next week) to start on any of those. I want to either maybe start selling them online or get a booth maybe at the flea market but I dunno if that is feasible or whatnot yet. There are a lot of things planned for when school starts. Fishing of course when we can. My son enjoys it and is good at it. (My oldest was super good she could kill/clean/ and cook them herself whatever she caught and she always caught decent sized ones) My 2nd oldest I think was always like me. She wasn't so fond of the killing them part. My youngest likes it but gets bored easily. This last time we went there were turtles everywhere. They would swim around the bobbers. We found lilly pads growing out at the lake and now we have ducks and geese out there sometimes too which I think is great. 

 (my son took this one with his phone)    We did a trip to the park where my son and I ran around and took pics while hubby sat with Abby (couldn't do the walking) Still hoping to stop off at the museum next time I go to the Rheumy. We aren't so much into big expensive type trips as we are about finding stuff people tend to forget is there or to not notice. (though I do want to make a trip to the zoo and omniplex...sorry it will always be omniplex to me and the bone museum.) Anyway. This summer hasn't been bad at all just busy but busy is the norm for us really. My grandbaby is growing like a weed of course and her Momma is doing good. My 2nd oldest is doing a lil better than she was. They had work but then the guy they were working for wasn't doing it anymore so it looked rough but her fiance found work. She is still looking for some herself and thinking about going back to school. 

My son still has about a month left before his schooling starts. Hoping for a good school year for both the kids. I swear though if my youngest is going through yet ANOTHER growth spurt. O.o She acts like she is and while she just turned 5 she is getting her six year molars. She gets mistaken for a 7 yr old all the time even the dentist told me that the teeth she has in are those of about a 7 year old. It is so weird. She is wearing the clothing size to fit too. 6x is too small and she is going to be very tall which is kind of interesting. My kids all seem to go in height from the oldest being the shortest to the youngest looking like she will be the tallest. In that order. LOL I think my son is disappointed because he liked being the tallest :) 

 He took this one too. The other day we went on a trip downtown in Shawnee which I hadn't been in forever. Finally got to revisit the old flea market. Seems so different in some ways. I love all the murals and such on the buildings I would have loved to have done one. We also went and checked out the discount walls thing. I didn't think we'd find anything we were looking for a toilet tank to replace my Mom's but they actually surprised me. They had that but they also had marble sinks and such for super cheap so if I decide to remodel/renovate this house instead of moving then I know where to find some of the things. Will do another post here soon. :)

Just a thought: (a short short blog)

I think all parents should keep a little book of weird sayings and short conversations around their house.  
Especially when they have younger children though teenagers come up with some pretty awesome stuff. This should then be compiled into a book when the kids are all grown. 
Things like the convo with the youngest. "Yes you can ride the invisible T-rex around the yard so long as you stay where I can see you" (I was out doing yard work) 
I've heard some doozies not just from my own kids but they are always conversations where you are left going wow I never imagined having that convo or saying that LOL.  

a bit of a rave about online school and other mumbo jumbo

I am really kind of enjoying this fall like weather. Though it is making me sleepy all the time it feels like. I should be using it to do some serious before school starts cleaning but am finding it hard to motivate. I'm getting a few things done though. I need to start organizing my craft supplies and such because I plan on working on them pretty seriously when it does start. My son still has like a month left til his school starts. He's been pretty into the video games and doing some photography for the most part. He's kinda gotten into the whole making things with the special print duct tape too. He made a bag and put a 4 leaf clover on it (sealed the 4 leaf clover in clear tape so it would keep) we get those all over our yard. 

 bag he made.

He's made a full satchel before too. He's pretty good with the duct tape. 

Every year we give him the option of back to regular school or online and so far he is adamant about preferring online. I am grateful we do have some good online public school choices. Advanced Academics was our choice and Epic Charter is one of the schools that teaches through them. They are based out of OKC. There are several participating schools and I've had a lot of friends asking for info on the schools as well as a lot of people who actually are using one of the many online public schools due to how much bullying is a problem in public schools. It is a pretty rampant problem. For those worried about social interaction there are plenty of ways to keep the kids socially active and the schools themselves offer many options. Some other benefits are that you can do the schooling any time of the day so if you have like a drs appt you don't have to worry about missing school it can be made up later that day. There is always teachers assistance when they need it (live either via phone or via online chat) etc. Can't say enough good things about it though you do have to make sure you are checking in and seeing that they are getting their work turned in. Some parents may think they can just turn them loose with it and not worry about it and maybe some can but it is best to stay very involved. You need to stay up on whether they need help with something and to make sure they are keeping up with their goals with it. ....

Anyway enough about that. 

One of my goals I am setting is besides just getting a lot more crafting/painting done to learn more about how to knit/crochet (with the hook not just with the looms though I have a couple of projects set up to do with the looms) Sometimes I find something I do rather well with self teaching and that seems to be one of the things. 

I also want to say I appreciate the good luck. (and yeah I thank my higher power for this) Sometimes when there is something we need or that I really feel will be beneficial ...something I feel a need to set out looking for we will go by the thrift store and there it is. This last time it was knee pads for my youngest. She seems out to tear her poor knees up. She is accident prone when it comes to that and she really likes to ride her scooter while her brother rides his bike. She can tear them up though even just running doesn't matter so I really wanted to get her some knee pads and lo and behold there they were along with elbow pads. So now she has to wear those when we go for our walks. Maybe she'll have some knees left when school starts ;) We lucked out finding her school clothes. I found my son a shirt but he can be harder to shop for. One because of him being very tall and lanky (seems a family problem about that age we all went through it. I don't have that problem now though LOL...well never had the tall part of it) anyway...and he HATES to try clothes on. He really could care less. I have to fish stuff out of his closet that he's outgrown because he refuses. I have found he likes those funny T-shirts with the sayings though so maybe I can get him to try on some pants if he can get some of those with them. I dunno. He really hates trying them on that much LOL. My youngest doesn't like to try them on either but with her I tried an outfit on her with a puppy on it first and she got all excited about that so that helped. I have a morning kit I put together for her with her detangling spray, brush, and hair bows and such. Only time she really doesn't mind her hair done as much is for school. I guess my oldest liked the way I cut her hair as I've had a request to do hers here soon.I do all my family's....  get requests from my mom and MIL and have done it for friends but I always worry about messing up with it. Not doing it how they like or something. 

I think another thing I'd like to do when school starts is to go to the gym but not sure if I can swing that $ wise but would be nice. Maybe I can start doing my dancing at home again during the day or something. That always seemed to do the most for me. The stretches I do with my dancing are the ones I need to do for my achilles anyway too. 

Anyway I need to actually go get some stuff done instead of just talking about it. ;) So off I go.

July 14 2014

If you're on facebook you all ready probably saw the short version of this but today was a "fun" day. I went in to the foot dr today only to find out I was at the wrong place. (apparently they set the referral up to a different one than I'd been to before) so anyway the papers I had had no number on them anywhere to call and the lady at the desk skimmed over them and said they were out of the city. I said I told them I needed for it to be in Shawnee. So we went next door and hubby and the youngest walked around for a bit while I called my regular dr and told them what happened. Then I thought hmm. I called my son who looked up the number for me and then called them and found out there WAS in fact one on the same street I was on just down a ways and they called ahead and told them what had happened and told me I could still go which is good so we left and went on down and it was at the back of the building not the front but they were waiting on me so I went straight back. Anyway come to find out my Achilles tendon is too tight (makes me wonder if it may be from all those times I got the backs of my heels run over by a shopping cart at full force. ) anyway and that when I first get up from sitting etc that the bones are bending because my muscles and tendons try to over compensate (so the are bending upwards like a loose U-shape) and it is producing lots of little fissures over the bones. The dr showed me some stretching exercises to loosen up the Achilles tendon and then also I have to wear a fitted boot for like a month to take the stress off. (I've broken that foot before with a stress fracture) and hopefully that will help. So in the end that went well. I'd rather the boot than surgery. Then I've been fighting to try and get my mom's prescription for her Parkinson's filled and am getting the run around from the neurologist. They are giving the pharmacy run around too. The medication is to help stop the tremors. (the Tremors can be so bad they interfere with eating and they actually burn a lot of calories themselves and are very tiring as you are always in motion involuntarily) Soooo fighting to try to get her meds. Then my jaw is kind of hurting and that side is tore up because I'm not used to eating on that side so now eating is a bit painful but I'm sure that will heal hopefully sooner rather than later. All in all though progress was made. I'm glad we finally made it in thanks to my son for looking up the number for me and I was able to get it taken care of before it DID turn into another break. Now I have another appt or so to take care of and then it will be time to get ready for the school year. 

 Drawing I did using Lascuax sketch on 2draw.net

Slow down and smile more

You know I have to look around me and wonder why everyone seems to be in such a hurry all the time. I feel busy all the time myself always one thing or another going on but I try to not feel rushed. I all ready have anxiety problems but as far as my working on going places I've noticed I am starting to get a bit of a complex. Traffic sucks. I mean it always has but especially with having so much road work going on in Shawnee. I've noticed this especially bad but not only with the areas where there is roadwork.  People seem to freak out if they have to wait for any length of time and are always in such a rush to get where they are going. I am pretty sure it is safe to assume that not ALL of those people have some sort of life threatening emergency or actually need to be in such a huge hurry. I've seen so many more recently that seem to have forgotten about the rules of the road and all of them almost seem to be suffering from road rage of some sort. If you are stopped because you need to turn and there are cars coming the other way that you have to let pass before you can or even if there is a car in front of you that is stopped so that you have to stop also. People will freak the heck out. Honking at you, getting right up on your rear, and then sometimes whipping out and going around nearly hitting other cars. This is something I shouldn't see often but I do. Coming back from the fireworks show one night I saw someone who was stuck in a line of traffic that was actually it appears trying to go off on the shoulder almost to try and squeeze in further up the line. Really? You can't wait like the rest of us? What is the huge hurry that leads you to do something that not only really doesn't get you anywhere but can put yourself or someone else in danger? I mean seriously I see horrible drivers like that far more often than I should. I see people out in public that just seem to have no patience as well. Thankfully I am still seeing enough people who take the time to take note of those around them and do nice things which I'd like to see more of. I try to keep in mind someone may not be having a good day and that is why they are acting the way they are but I also know that moods are contagious and they spread out like ripples on water. Say you have someone in a bad mood and they do something where they essentially share that mood with someone else. They likely dampen that person's mood and then they go on to share it with someone etc. The same is true for good moods though. We try to do little things like say someone in line has 2 items and you have a cart full. So long as you aren't putting someone else out doing so let that person go first. Just little stuff like that can actually be good. We do that a lot and people just act way more surprised than really I'd expect. Open the door for people. Pay a compliment. I mean seriously it isn't that hard and it can do more good than you realize. Slow down a bit when you can and stop and think are you really in such a hurry? You tend to miss things around you when you are always in a rush. Just being pleasant to someone can make a bigger difference in their day than you may realize. You may find you feel better as well. I think people have just become so numb in today's world. If you can change that even a little bit it is worth it. (excuse me for the warm fuzzy type post but hey something else I'd been thinking about. Maybe the heat is getting to me ;)   ) 

On a totally unrelated note I am trying to decide what my next project is going to be. If I want to start a knitting thing (I still need to make a hat and gloves to go with my wrap for winter) OR if I want to start a poster or painting project. So many things to do. Trying to also go through and get rid of stuff we don't need and clean etc. It is supposed to cool down though so need to get some mowing done and probably any of my truly active activities done while I can. 

additional thoughts...on change

For whatever reason I seem to be into this deep thinking thing but I promise once I get it out of my system I'll go back to my daily life stuff and all that sort of thing. 
I had some additional thoughts to add to what I was saying yesterday. This is in relation to the religion half of it just in that is what got me started down this particular path of thinking but the subject really is about any large lifestyle change. (as in a lifestyle change that affects not only you but everyone in your circles either friends or family  or coworkers etc because it is such a large change) Change again can be good or bad but sometimes it is the way a person goes about this change and what they are actually getting from it. If it is something that is meant to bring about good change and you are meant to gain a new found sense of self or spiritualism or health etc I think if you dive in head first you are less likely to be that person that actually gains what you are doing it for. Not that you CAN'T gain from it but saying if you are using it for show or as a bandaid to fix some hole in your life you are likely to miss the greater lessons it may have to give. Now there are things like my change to gluten free...it wasn't to follow a fad though many do. It was a life saver because I am allergic to wheat and wheat and gluten are so directly tied to each other. Pretty much it is the same diet. For me that was a life saver because I'd found the source of some major health problems and breathing issues and my stomach has done a ton better...etc...anyway so sometimes there are large changes like that...However...I tried to minimalize the affect it had on my family etc as much as possible. We did end up making some changes at home and my husband has perfected fried chicken using gluten free flour that I think tastes better than any fast food place...but I am not asking them to make dietary changes as well. They don't need to. Granted that only partially relates to what I am talking about but I thought it related enough to go here. In any case The changes I am more talking about are the ones where instead of adding new pieces to that lifestyle...new friends...new places you like to go...etc You pretty much become unrecognizable. I find it hard to explain properly but basically you see the traits in the person that you might see in an addict. Someone that again is using that change as a bandaid or cover up for problems they may have in their life. Those people may still be able with time to gain valuable life lessons from that change but they also run a risk of burning out before they even start because they are expecting a quick fix and it didn't do it for them. Especially when they expect this change to change everything else around them. I've seen people who think their own changes (which might have been otherwise positive)  provided them validation to become judge, jury, and executioner for anyone else. That is where I think change presents a problem and that is what I was trying to get to with this statement. It gives the appearance that the person or people think they are suddenly now above everyone around them though they may have not long ago been those people that are being looked down upon. It is like they seem to think if they show compassion or identify with those people who remind them of who they used to be the will suddenly be out of the "cool kids club" they seem to think they belong to now. If you are in it for the club like atmosphere you are not in it for your own personal growth. It is really not a positive change when you see that in a person. For those people I hope that they find their footing and stop their road to burn out and actually learn the lessons and gain positive enlightenment from the changes they have made. It is possible to have/learn those and keep the changes just with out the persecution of those around you who made maybe different changes or chose their own path. Your path is yours not everyone's. Slow it down a notch and I think it'll be okay. Hard to see the sights when you are going full throttle. (sorry if I sound cryptic but I'd been seeing some of this and I wanted to get my thoughts on it out there) 

 Sadly some people will only  hear "blah blah blah ...don't like changes...against changes...blah blah blah..." and not hear what is actually being said. I know people like this. Changes are okay just don't go so crazy with them all at once and condemn everyone else for not making the same choices you did.