School's out!

My kids had gotten an extra week of school as an extension but that ended yesterday so it is officially summer for our household (well yeah I know technically still spring but you know what I mean...) Today is also the start of a 4 day period of severe weather. Sitting here waiting to see if anything interesting happens. I've always been interested in the weather and I think some people take it as me being fearful of it or something...it isn't that. I get like storm chaser type excited. Always found it exciting. Right now it is suffocatingly hot and humid though so not enough energy to get too excited about it. 
I've made some dietary changes and have done pretty good at sticking with them. Mainly because of the difference I noticed all ready. I went of wheat entirely and I've noticed I don't have the constant headaches, no more throat swelling up, my nose isn't driving me crazy all the time, and my digestive issues are continuously doing better and better (no more swollen/bloated tummy as an added bonus)  Granted I miss the bread and it is hard. Especially right now when we have lofthouse cookies in the house which I love but they are alas made of wheat flour so that is a no go for me. My biggest problems is family members keep offering me things I can't have because they forget. I just have to remain strong willed and keep turning the things down and reminded them when said things are offered because I know how I felt before and how I feel now. My allergy was supposed to be minor but my dr said she'd seen other people reacting as I do to it and that was the only way they seemed to find relief of their symptoms which well... that is how it has turned out for me. It is quite possible that I have had celiac disease as well but I did not undergo testing for this so really can't say that is what it was but if so then that is also why this has been so successful for me. 
I haven't decided yet really what all I want to do this summer. I mean I do have some plans weather cooperating but we'll see. 

Centering

Listening to some Waterbone and wishing I had an alone spot. Someplace to sit and meditate preferably out in the woods. I think I found my perfect spot all ready at the new house but of course that is there not here. I also am feeling a need to release into my art or via dance. Art is a possibility but not dance really right now. Just so many things going on. Things that make the smaller things in your life that seemed big get drowned out. I will talk about the smaller for now though. My mom has to go in to figure out what is causing her tremors which she is being told may be Parkinsons. Though I am not quite as sure. I kind of think it could be in relations to the fact that her organs are shutting down. She is going through Renal Failure and they aren't going to do anything. She is also on a large amount of medications and believes fully that she will soon be like my grandpa was. Completely unable to move etc. Something she'd had nightmares about before because of that. Still having your mind but no longer having your body. I can only imagine how scary. I keep telling her she doesn't know this yet. Just hang in there til her appt. (comes up in a couple months or so) I am not sure anything will ease her fears. She is asking for a wheel chair because she can't walk really much anymore and she is trying to get her affairs in order. (This will mean full time care on our part and will soon anyway as her hands shake so bad she can hardly do anything) 
For my own problem it is small in perspective to everything else. Nothing really. I am having to go through a full dietary change that I didn't think I had to go through. Yes I am allergic to wheat, milk, peanuts, etc.....but the allergist thought I should still be able to eat it for the most part. Well it turns out that is what is causing my throat to swell. (Wheat) I talked to my dr after another episode and she says that even though the allergy is small that it is effecting me enough that I really just can't eat it. Everytime I stop I am fine. I had thought maybe something else was causing it but it isn't. This is something that you really have to take into thought how many things you eat that have wheat in them. For me having to go through a diet change at the same time as having several traumatic events happen ....not easy. Especially since I was somewhat stress eating so well maybe in the end it is a good thing I can't have it. I told my husband I don't want anyone else in my house to feel they have to eat any differently just fix what ever they would normally fix and I will work around it. (I know some people that expect everyone else to change with them and to me that is just not fair if the other people don't have the problem then why should they suffer?) It is something I am adjusting to. On another side note I've screwed up the ligaments in my foot. I am not going to go in to the other things going on because they are personal for other people and I don't feel I have a right to share that.  Rough times all around though I will say that. I keep trying to focus on positive things and positive change and that is becoming harder to do. Trying to hang in there though. I feel like I am being pushed or pulled in some direction and I am just off the path right now or something. Who knows. Hopefully that path will open up soon. Some may part ways on it but as long as that is the best for everyone then so be it. I just want to find peace again. 

Main stream Media and conspiracy theories

North Koreans train   My only thought (that isn't as laughable) is they are raising their children to be war minded (if this is accurate) and they have to grow up sometime...when they do will they have better technology and capability to carry out what they cannot now? Just a thought. Otherwise surely he is not actually basing his strategies on the same ideals as the propaganda videos of us they were putting out. People ask why the civilians of NK keep going along with their lives the way they are...it is a good example of brain washing that is why. They are steeped in this atmosphere til it becomes natural for them. This is the life they know and while we have more freedom (right now) to do our own research and etc from what I understand theirs is limited. 
Anyway I've been caught up in the news lately as has much (most?) of the US. I have noticed that the Boston Marathon bombings and the manhunt for the still missing suspect have served to act as a good time for them to bring out their new tactical vehicles and do a lot of photo ops and put them out there. Sort of a "See we told you we'd need these!" type thing it seems. News story from earlier today with photos There seems to be an ever growing number to those who are calling false flag and conspiracy theories which I have to agree that NOT EVERYTHING is a conspiracy and should NOT be treated as such though there are always those things that make you go...well that IS weird or the wonder as to why it seems things constantly seem to escalate. It seems we get used to one thing being the new normal only for that to change again and we have to adjust to that. If several years back you would have told me the military would start conducting drills in the US and we'd have drones being experimentally used (especially that Oklahoma would be a testing ground) for police work not just military work. It would have seemed too futuristic to me. Part of it is just that we are growing so quickly technologically and there are so many ways for this to be used....where do we draw the line between using it to help and using it to control. I think that is where the conspiracy theorists come in at with the analyzing of these situations. Is this occurring as a natural course of action? Or are we being pushed in the direction of becoming accustomed to these things being the norm and allowing military and police to reform their boundaries. Their question is are we being protected or controlled I believe that is what it boils down to. I honestly don't have an answer to that as I see a lot of both going on. I do analyze the crap out of the news and all and I have found that increasingly the media puts out inaccuracies and then redacts them only in turn they point their fingers at social media. I think the thing is that people using social media are mainly reposting what they read from MSM (main stream media) I think what we are seeing that is creating the conspiracy theorists are that people are starting to question their sources as MSM has been putting out so much incorrect information in the rush to be first to get the news out there. They put out conflicting stories or they put out bits of information without checking to make sure it is accurate. Partly because we in an era now where news travels so quickly that is a race between news agencies to get it out first and to hopefully beat twitter and facebook etc.....then a more recent development it seems is more and more people are latching on to sites such as Broadcastify to listen to the police scanners and get their "news" straight from the source. Even then this can prove inaccurate or confusing when things happen such as last night when they put out there the names of two suspects claiming it was them that they were searching for one of them being a missing student from Brown University and then later realizing it was not and then changing it to the two Chechnyan brothers (the MSM did this as well) only AFTER friends and family of the first two named suspects were harassed and threatened. 
Something I don't think people think about so much is that the media strongly influences peoples feelings on subjects. No I'm not saying people can't make up their own minds about how they feel....I'm saying sometime when you are watching the news pay attention to the particular wording they use when describing something. The tone they set. You may find that another news station etc will set an entirely different tone on the same story. It all is influenced heavily by the emotions that particular station etc intends to produce or enact in people. I've been really noticing that more and more. I knew this did this for ratings on certain stories etc and always have ...however if you really watch it goes a bit deeper than that. The media really does influence the public in other ways.  (yeah I know captain obvious here but it is the depth of it that surprised me I guess.) Another reason I say do your own research. Make SURE you check out multiple news sources before you pass judgement on something. 
Something else I have noticed is the hatred that spews onto the boards and comments sections of any news story, FB post, etc People seem to think that hate warrants more hate. The only thing that is happening is it is spreading it and creating more situations like this when people snap or when groups become more and more divided over hateful remarks about religions, ethnicity, etc. We are dividing ourselves and blaming it on situations like these when we should be standing together instead against it. Not pointing fingers and saying Oh because you are of this religion or of this race you shall now be grouped in with this person who did this or that. People are individuals. I can understand the anger especially about situations like this one with the Boston Marathon...what gets me is when people put all that anger on an entire ethnic group or religious group.  It disgusts me to see people stereotyping. I will post more of my thoughts on this later (maybe) 

Spring 2013

What will the spring and summer of 2013 hold for us? At this point I have absolutely NO idea. Usually I have at least some idea but not this year. None. We are attempting to move forward with some plants and have had a hard time so far due to illness. (Everyone in my house has caught that dratted cold that is going around and we can't seem to shake it) It is very frustrating but this does not look to be the overly hot and dry summer that we've had the last few years so maybe we can actually get somewhere with it. Everything for this coming year is up in the air. We'll just have to see where the cards fall. Too many transitions the last few years and they are wearing me out. Would love for things to slow down so we can take a breath and catch up so to speak but they never seem to. So many plans and so little time to accomplish anything. Or at least that is how it seems. Trying to sort things out into parts or sections so we can deal with those separately. I have started a few things though. My husband bought me some tomato plants and those seem to be going well. I am trying the experiment I'd seen recently with taking the part of the romaine lettuce that is normally discarded (in our case given to my son's guinea pigs) and planting it in a little garden and so far they are growing back nicely. My stargazer lilies are coming up really well (one had disappeared last year and I thought it was done for) my blueberry bush is getting really leafy. Even have a couple of strawberry and baby aloe plants going so in the gardening front at least we are doing well. (Still want some pepper plants and some herbs) Oh and my mint plants are taking over. Growing around where they were planted but not in that exact spot. ;) So for now we are playing everything by ear and taking each day as it comes. Will try and find time to blog when I can.

Allergy testing done

Well thankfully that is over with. Wasn't too bad just the wait but I can't blame them really for that. Short handed and being given more patients than they had room for so were having to clean up rooms to have a place to put them. I really like the nurse there. She seems really familiar to me and is super nice. Has a southern thing going on. Lots of Oh Honey and Bless your heart. Very sweet lady. They did I think 110 on my back of the scratch test. They first number it and do it in sections for like 3 different types I think and then when she went to do the little needles I think it only took her up to 2 minutes at the very most to do them all. Had a rhythm going. Poke plunk poke plunk (plunking them into the box)

Hubby and I were bored so he took photos so I could see what it looked like while waiting. Most of these weren't as bad as I'd feared thankfully but again had a few that were bad enough to be pretty noticeable  (Cedar is on my side) 

Turns out I am very highly allergic to Cedar which is what I suspected and which is what likely caused my RAD (Reactive airway disease) to act up so badly and sent me into the ER and caused so much of a problem while they were pollinating. Thankfully they are pretty much done and I've been able to breathe pretty normal here lately. I am also on inhalers which help and take Zyrtec at night. Plus  now on the D3 which the dr. told me to go ahead and take all of them at once with a good sized meal. (I have to take a mega dose because of being so low) Then they moved on to the arm test and that was like 12 spots I think. Of course the usual suspects like Ragweed and weeds and all.

 H is the histamine which is something you are supposed to react to and my Weed was as high as that. RW is ragweed. 

Can't see the rashes very well due to lighting but you can see where some had started to go down. They did bleed a little. The only real discomfort was a couple of sensitive spots but mostly the itching. You can't touch them.

 I found out I do have some food allergies but not enough to stop me from eating those foods by themselves but interestingly they are the same foods that set of my IBS and that is likely why. So something to not eat too much of.  Anyway found some food allergies I would not have even guessed.  Today I am just sore all over my back. Tiny bit bruised on my arm where they did the salt water control spot. Otherwise I'd recommend it if you suffer allergies and would like to know what to avoid. I was told shots would be a good idea but not sure on two things. 1. Since I have lupus and RA they are not generally recommended for those people so I need to ask more about that and 2. I'd have to go in weekly for 5 years. Got to make sure that would be feasible for us. We really need a better vehicle. The one we are driving now needs repairs BAD. Our actual vehicle needs repairs as well. Sucks.
Anyway that is pretty much the news health wise other than my Mom has a bunch of questions for me to help her with when she goes in to the dr. here soon. Her nurses suspect Parkinsons. We'll see what we can find out. As for me I am just having to decide about the allergy shots (tempting due to the severity of my problems this last cedar fever season) or if there are alternatives I can use since I do have lupus and RA. Either way I feel like I can better understand what was going on now and can work on doing something about it. Sometimes people mistake my talking about my health issues as my being obsessed with them or I've been accused of being a hypochondriac. (I think I'll listen to the medical professionals who actually KNOW what is going on.) In actuality I do unfortunately have a host of health issues which can reflect off one another. I am simply looking for answers and ways to make things better. As I've said before I am not a person who likes being idle. I thrive on productivity in whatever way I can accomplish that.  In regards to my kids I have every hope that they do not have the health issues that I have. So far they are pretty healthy and I am grateful. I also put my health issues out there because I know when I was trying to learn more about them it sometimes helped to hear from others with the same problems to know how they dealt with them. It sometimes helps you to know you are not alone and that they CAN be dealt with that all is not lost. I like to explore the possibilities and not just focus on the "well this sucks" aspect of it all. So far I consider myself lucky. A lot of people with the lupus and such are on a ton of medications. I've been lucky enough NOT to be as of yet. I don't like long term medications. I will take them if necessary but only if I need them. I would rather manage through a healthier lifestyle (Something I want my kids to learn as well) when and where possible. 

It is hard enough to accept that somedays I just will not have the Oopmh to do what I want or need to. 


We've had a lot we've had to put off the last month so we are really behind on our goals but with the nicer weather and having a much better idea what was going on with my health..as well as having court and all behind us. We are in hopes that we can finally move forward and maybe play some catch up now. The kids all have their testing they have to do for end of the school year. (Only downside to the online schooling) So we are having to work around that as well it is the time of year for the yearly check ups and reviews on things. We are hoping to get something done before the weather heats up too much and we can SEE some progress. 

Ball ready to start rolling

 rainbow I tried to add on here before

 smoke out by the hospital when I was leaving

Well after a long bout of constantly being sick I may be on the edge of being able to get back to good health. I wound up seeing an allergist which actually is helping more than anything else at the moment. I've spent about 3 weeks unable to get a good breath and incredibly ill. Very frustrated too as I've said before I hate being unable to be as active as I'd like. I am so tired constantly right now and feel like no matter what I do I can't get enough rest etc. Well so far I've found out I am dangerously vitamin D deficient. Soooo working on that. Have to take mega doses of that to bring it back up. Partly due to the fact that I am lactose intolerant (though I will still divulge in a bit of ice cream every now and then knowing the consequences) and I will use lactaid milk when I need to use milk for anything other than cooking. Stuff is expensive though. My youngest has to have it as well. Also due to the fact that I've been getting serious allergy reactions when I go outside I've had to stay indoors mostly (well plus it has been cold and I don't do cold) anyway so hopefully I can get that brought back up. It can cause some serious health issues such as rickets, breathing problems, weakened bones, etc. Plus a drop in immune system which I had to begin with so essentially right now I have no immune system. On the good side of it though I should start to feel a lot better as my levels increase. Will be checking back in to see how they are doing since it is something that has to be watched. On another note I am going to be doing allergy testing which should also help once I know what all to avoid and such. I may be needing allergy shots (am hoping that I don't and it is just things I can avoid that I am allergic to....well I can hope anyway) because if I need the allergy shots this means going in every week for 5 years. Blah. Though it may help just to know for sure what all I am allergic to. I hate health issues. We've had a lot of things we've had to put off here lately and I basically feel like we've lost a month. I want to move on with our lives. I don't want to just talk about it or dream about it I want to DO it.  Hopefully this next month will be much more productive. We've jumped a couple of hurdles so that should help. Really just waiting to see what is going to happen with the testing and if I need the shots because we'll have to keep that in mind. Always something. Anyway here is to hoping for better health and better progress. 

health issue hold ups

Well I was going to upload a pic with this but google is having issues with that so maybe I can add one later. In any case back in Feb I started having some breathing issues. Especially right around when I had court so I had assumed either I had caught cold or I was just feeling panicky. (court went well though so no reason to feel panicky just glad to have that over with) Anyway. Later it kept getting worse. Tight chest, feeling like I wasn't getting enough air but no real reason why. I'd had some sinus problems but it is spring and the cedar pollen count is high so that is no real surprise. Well then I had set up a drs appt to go talk to the dr. about it because it was just getting worse and it wasn't a day or so later that it got so bad that I called in I could not get a good breath walking even a few steps made me weak and dizzy my chest hurt really bad. They told me to go in to ER immediately so I did. Which is saying a lot I HATE ER. The wait is usually atrocious. Plus while I am sitting there I hear some guy come in and the nurse going OMG is that all over your body? and took him straight back while another nurse was reassuring someone she wipes everything down with alchohol LOL I didn't even turn around. I was just concentrating on breathing and my fingers by this point were blue. I get back and the male sure asked for my history and he knew right off about Sjogren's and Lupus . Which was a pleasant surprise not being discounted for it (I usually get the oh you have lupus that explains everything you are meant to suffer type response when um not everything is lupus) anyway the guy was really nice and reminded me a lot of my brother. I was sent back for X-ray and they decided I had upper respiratory and bronchitis (later my dr. when I went in for a follow up decided it didn't sound so much like bronchitis) anyway by the time I left I was still very weak but my color had returned to my fingers and such and I wasn't struggling so much. Went in to my regular dr and was not really doing much better had several dizzy spells, numbness in my arms, couldn't do crap. It was getting really frustrating because there are so many things I needed to be doing. Plus during this time frame my glasses had gotten destroyed (the scratch coat started coming up on them) and I had to get this other taken care of before I went in to the eye dr. My regular dr. gave me a shot of antibiotic and told me to take mucinex and zyrtec which I did and it helped a little. Went in and got my eyes checked and decided to order my glasses from zinni optical which I am waiting on mine to arrive. I got 2 pair for half of what I spent normally on regular glasses. Heck not even half. Lets put it this way cheaper than what I'd spend on lenses ALONE for one pair and I got scratch coat for free and anti-reflective. Anyway....so not long after that the dr. had told me to come back in if I were not getting any better and I wasn't. The day before I could call to set up with her again I nearly wound up in ER again with blue-ish fingers and racing heartbeat even though my BP and all was actually very good. Turns out it seems my asthma may be getting worse due to the cedar pollen. I was put back on advair (which I start tonight) and given a rescue inhaler and a shot of steroid which I apparently had a reaction to. My entire body itched horribly. I haven't slept in like 3 nights so I am seriously hoping to sleep tonight as the next two days will be busy for us. I am also in high hopes that the daily inhaler combined with my zyrtec will help tremendously. The zyrtec is all ready helping. I'd noticed that just being outside for a day would leave me in this state which was becoming very frustrating and irritating. We did decide though that with the discovery of the online glasses for much cheaper (seriously check them out if you wear glasses they have rave reviews) anyway we told my 2nd oldest we would get her a back up pair for her too from there when we can because she usually needs them. You can upload a photo and try your glasses on and it is realistic looking. Something I've always had a problem with when picking out glasses. I couldn't truly see what I looked like in them til after I got the finished product because for the most part I am blind....though on a good note apparently my eyes surprisingly have gotten a bit better. (surprise even to the dr. especially since right now I am wearing a 15-20 year old pair with bifocals and I don't even need bifocals anymore NOR was I wearing the in my pair that got destroyed that were a couple years old) Anyway I am off for tonight but that is what has been going on in our end of the world.