Signs of spring

I took a pic but don't have it uploaded yet to post it but I am going to make a prediction of early spring. I am really hoping I am right. Doesn't mean we won't have another cold snap or two but I think all in all it may be early. I am basing this off watching natural signs such as patches of green grass coming up and a lot of trees starting to bud. The pics I took were of the slippery elm trees with thick budding on them. Almost looking ready to leaf out. Birds are starting to come in. Soooo anyway really hoping. Not enjoying the cedar pollen right now. I have a really bad allergy to it. I spent time outside today visiting my older girls and I am hoping it doesn't kick me in the butt later. I enjoyed the visit though. I am ready to be able to start taking walks and such. I am wanting really badly to get a fitness tracker which I can do and make payments but I want to make sure it is a good one and worth it and I hate spending much on myself. :/ Soooo I am trying to talk myself into it because I see it as something I will really use and to stay motivated with. Right now I am still doing my belly dancing and sometimes when I'm cooking or doing something in the kitchen I will put on one of my shows and walk in place (more like highstep or jog really) and set the microwave timer for at least 10 minutes. Still calorie counting (trying to not cheat much on that) When I do my dancing I do it in a sports top (I always show my midriff anyway because I need to see that I am doing the moves right) but so I have to see myself (to encourage change) Not sure if that part is positive or negative LOL Trying to push through the pain on my RA days. (Rheumatoid arthritis which makes my joints stiff and painful when it is acting up)   Well while I was writing this out after a LOT of thought and going through the pros and cons of each I found a fitness tracker that wasn't too expensive but had good reviews and seems pretty accurate and am getting that one. Doesn't have all the cool stuff like the newer ones (fitbit and all those) but still seems like a good choice for me for less and reviews say it is pretty accurate so here goes...    We'll see how it works :) 
I'm continuing to work on my art. My page Through the Eyes of the Storm is where I put all my works. I am starting to find more balance in my life even despite certain problems ...have a vehicle to use but not one that we can fit everyone in right now have to wait on SSI to approve us scrapping our old van so we can move on things like that. Also this year actually appears to have a bit slower relaxed theme to it which is really nice after a good couple years of feeling like everything was on high speed and chaos. It can stay calm for awhile. :)

Religion and social media/news media

 People can look at the same thing and see different things in it. I look at this and see a beautiful mix of colors and the wonders of nature....others may look at it and see it as scary or even dismal....some may see it as Gods canvas (thus maybe seeing something similar but not quite the same as what I see in it)  It doesn't mean anyone is right or wrong to see it in a different light but people can learn to be respectful of the fact that they CAN see the same things differently. 

*note before I get started though I may say Christians in a general term sort of way I try to make sure I say a lot of or some not all with it....if I leave that out of a sentence where I have put that term please mentally insert it. I believe that each person is an individual and not all hold the same beliefs or opinions. ....

I have had the topic of religion come up a LOT lately and while I make efforts to stay away from said topic it has really drawn me in as of late. First of all came the story about a wiccan bulletin board in the classroom of our local school. I saw the story first on a friends post that had reposted a picture someone had taken of it along with a plea to make complaints. The friend (catholic) felt as I did that it was an all or nothing type thing. You either let all the religions represent themselves or none of them get to.  CHannel 5 news story I was trying to find the facebook article on it but couldn't. I had (along with several others) left numerous comments on that. I was pleased to find there was actually a lot of support for educating the public on Wicca and other Pagan religions. Anyway a bit of background is that the employee had put the bulletin board up as part of a religious cultures around the world display. There were others as well such as a manger scene etc. What bothers me is the parent who induced other parents to call seems to be (as many are) completely basing their issue with the display on lack of knowledge or inaccurate knowledge on the topic. I appreciate that may of my friends and acquaintances while they are Christian at least make an attempt to understand or educate themselves about other religions and beliefs and realize that to understand what they are about does not make them a threat to their own nor does it mean they need to convert. Just to understand where someone else is coming from. It upsets me that most of the time when reading the comments section of any story like that (with this one being an exception as the comments were mostly positive) that the Christians (not all of course but a good number) who reply are automatically in attack mode. They make comments that are bullying and contain a nastiness that is not needed and does not reflect the nature they claim to be of by any means. I honestly don't think many of them even realize they are doing this and would like for them to take a moment to stop and read what they've written. Does it simply state their opinion on the subject or was it meant to demean and bully someone of another belief? (same goes for anyone really and for all topics not just religion) People really do tend to lose all tact when replying via internet to anything because you aren't speaking to someone face to face but that of course is a well known thing. I have noticed though that in this particular case Christians get really nasty. Telling people they are going to burn in hell (granted this is their belief but the context in which they use it is meant to bash not to extend that hey this is what they believe in regards to what I am talking about here) Telling them that all people who are not Christians leave the country. Um I was born and raised here....I am part Cherokee and Creek two of the tribes native to this region....I am a legal citizen...try again?? You will see a lot of them accusing pagans, wiccans, etc of devil worship....if you knew anything at all about any of it you would know they don't believe in the devil. Also Wicca is to Paganism as say Babtist is to Christianity. Just a sect. Just as technically Buddhism can be considered Paganism as the very definition of Pagan is not Christian and well Buddhist fits into that. Pagans do not believe in harming others and actually a lot of or most sects believe that if you were to do so it would come back on you 3 times over. Contrary to Christian beliefs members of other religions and even atheists can have morals. Morals are not something that belong specifically to a particular religion. It is something that a person needs to have and an instinct that tells them right from wrong based on how it affects others as well. Also an interesting thing I feel the need to insert here is there are a lot of things Christians have adopted from the Pagan religions. Such as the Christmas tree (Yule Tree or bringing in the greens) The Easter egg  and Easter bunny (meant to represent fertility and new growth)  etc. At one time the dates of certain Christian celebrations were changed to coincide with Pagan ones. Before you down or belittle something at least know SOMETHING about it. I've found a lot that also don't seem to believe you could possibly be happy or content with your religion if you are not Christian. I can say that isn't true. While I will be happy for a Christian who is happy with their religion I will also say I am happy with mine. I felt whole again when I reached that point. This is a fairly good idea of what I am Ecclectic Pagan Two of the faiths that have the most influence for me are Buddhism and a mixture of Native American beliefs. I did dabble with Wicca a bit and it was close but not quite my path. I think people spend an eternity searching paths for answers. Those journeys are part of what makes up life in general. You may walk a different path from someone but that doesn't make yours or theirs right or wrong. It just may be that yours is meant for you and theirs for them. Anyway I got off topic there a bit...well sort of. The thing with the school. I think parents got upset because of the one parent who had a fit about it. Apparently the kids really didn't even notice til the parents made a stink. The thing is the parents made it an issue because it was something they didn't understand so they feared it. They seemed to have based these fears on what they may have seen in horror stories or on movies etc. Not on how people of that religion actually are. Rather than educate themselves first they reacted with fear. They thought they were protecting their kids from something evil which it is not but an educated discussion with the kids would have been much better. Something along the lines of We believe in this but some people believe in that. How hard is that people? Not everything else is a threat to you and to be honest more people are likely to experiment with ideas and such that they are not familiar with due to curiosity. If you don't talk to them and they have tunnel vision thinking that all the world believes as they do they are more likely to bully others who are different. I've seen this in action and it is the kids AND adults doing it though the adults are more to blame because they set the kids up for doing it by this being something the kids seeing the adults doing and thinking that is how it is. It is a viscous cycle. They didn't show the same upset or fear for the other religions represented in the display ....why? Because they probably knew a bit more about them. They got upset that the manger had to come down. Did you not expect the school to have to show equality? I even heard people ask why the person who put up the board was not fired. Um they did nothing illegal or wrong. We are reaching a point of change. Just as others are fighting for their rights and to be recognized as equals so are the religions and the Christians are fighting it ..hard though thankfully there are a growing number who bother to educate themselves and realize that just because others have equal rights is not a threat to their own. Another thing that came up in the news recently is the monuments that are proposed to go up in OKC. This is where I find I must mention the news media. If you will noticed there are several monuments that are proposed to go up but the one getting all the attention is the Baphomet one. (the one all the Christians are referring to as Satan.... mainly because they probably don't know otherwise AND because this is who the media says it is also because it is a Satanic group that is putting it up....anyway I'll get back to that)  Now then. Other monuments are the Buddhist (what no problem with that one? me neither but I point it out because the media didn't focus on that because it doesn't irritate Christians) and the Flying spaghetti monster (C'mon)  I feel like the monuments for the most part are a publicity stunt but more so to make a point and start discussions on religious equality. This is something people have been trying to do for a long time but I guess they finally found something that would make it almost inescapable. Something to point out that Christians (please keep in mind that I do not mean all but a lot of them) cry out that their religions (yes plural as there are many branches) and beliefs are being attacked while at the same time proclaiming theirs should be the only one allowed in the US or at least our state. They get upset when they are not allowed to display something of theirs OR when another religion IS allowed to display something of theirs. It is a two way street and that is the point of the discussion. All or None. We don't really have so much of a problem with you putting yours up but you also must realize your is not the only religions recognized or allowed in the US OR practiced and believed. We are tired of having to stand by silently and have someone hollering that we are attacking their rights when we only want equality for ours. Now then This is where the media REALLY comes in. If you really pay attention you will see where this "war on religion" is mostly based. Yes in the media. They love to provoke the sides against one another. Pagans and atheists (and whomever else) for the most part are really not against Christians as much as you think. We are only against the bullying and belittling and the high horse that some think they are on. If you really pay attention they are really good at wording things just right to anger one side against another. Such as a story I saw recently. There was a group of humanists (probably a rather small faction) that had an issue with a Christian group collecting toys for the poor something to do with a school. The thing is the media presented it as a non-Christian group. Okay generally true however they made it sound as if it was as if it were a much broader group and left the Christians to believe it was  atheists or pagans and incited them against them when they had nothing to do with it and in fact most would actually have donated to the drive themselves didn't matter who was running it. Also most were upset as well that someone would stop a toy drive like that. Christians generally don't see this though sadly. Again it comes down to education and research. They said nothing in this story to indicate it was a humanist group who did this and let the Christians believe they were being attacked "yet again" by atheists and Pagans and such. Leading them to make rude snide comments about it. Really sometime when a topic of religion comes up go in and read the comments and see what a majority of the Christians sound like on those. They do not exude the loving, generous, nice type personality there that they proclaim to have. Something that in general they may not display otherwise. I went to a private Christian school as a kid and to be honest there was just as much bullying etc there as anywhere else. I had a co-student that moved to another state as an adult (as well as others) that said it wasn't til they left our local area that they even realized there was anything else out there. I've actually heard a lot of people say that. That is the kind of damage that tunnel vision type mentality can cause. It teaches fear of others and less tolerance of those that are different so next time you come across someone that is different instead of reacting with fear or like you feel threatened by them...be a little curious. Ask questions they will more than likely be happy to provide you with answers at no cost of yourself (your beliefs etc) to you. We are going through a shift or change right now and those always take some adjusting. 
*another factoid In God we Trust was not added to our money til 1957 on paper money US Mint
One nation under God was not added to the pledge of allegiance til later either Pledge original and with addition
Some fun twitters to follow these are parody accounts of the monuments: Drunk Legislator  Flying spaghetti monster Baphomet statue 10 Commandments statue 

Just checking in

 Glimpse of part of the painting :) Like a little corner of it :D 

Well still sticking w/ my resolutions so far. It amazes me when people seem to have given up on theirs not even a week in. :) At least wait a couple weeks a month LOL I plan on sticking these out. I am using Sparkpeople to keep track of calorie counting, exercise, and pick up general tips and recipes. They really do have a wealth of information there. I've used Myfitnesspal as well in the past with good results. Just depends on if you want to keep track of your goals (though I believe both have groups) or if you want something with more detail in any case both are good programs. I've all ready lost a couple lbs since I started which hasn't been very long. I also found diet deficiencies. Calcium I wasn't getting any of and even with taking a supplement now I am still a little low. So fixing those and trying to drink more water. I can't say I cut out caffeine since I drink instant coffee (I dunno why but regular coffee does weird things to me and I can't drink it but am so happy I figured out I can have instant though am clueless what the difference is...other than regular tastes better :(    ) 
I am also keeping up with my be more active despite cold weather and other inferences. Cold weather makes me want to hibernate and I crave sunshine (which should tell me something since I was so dangerously vitamin D3 deficient last year) Anyway. So I am finding ways to stay active indoors and another problem was while I like to do my belly dancing the tv is in use a lot by other family members so I am finding ways around that. Keeping movement going if I am in the kitchen doing dinner. Found some little exercises I can do in that respect (at least 10 min a day) and a chair exercise cardio thing I can do if I am at my desk (though I prefer moving around) I am also taking care of other tasks around my house that I was getting overwhelmed with. I always give the advice instead of seeing something as a whole break it down into parts and handle those so you don't get overwhelmed...I was still getting overwhelmed with some things because I have so many things going on that sometimes I don't know where to start. My goal is to take care of at least one of those things a day. I am prioritizing by what bothers me the most. What brings me down when it isn't done. I know that should be such a simple thing but seriously the last two years has been so high stress that has been nearly impossible. I am hoping for (and thinking it will be) a much quieter year this year. Anyway seeing things improve thankfully so far :) 
I still want to continue working w/ my paintings. I have one I started as a Christmas present but was unable to finish in time (they still got something) and I am still planning to finish it for them and have one I started a year ago for my mom and wasn't happy with it so felt uncomfortable giving it to her but after staring at it for awhile I have some ideas how to make it what I wanted for her.  It is sometimes really hard to sort what time goes to what and sometimes I may plan it out and of course that isn't how it goes. We've been off schedule anyway due to school being out and the wreck and all. School goes back in session soon so things should return somewhat to norm and then we need to focus on how to get a vehicle that we can transport us, the kids, and my mom and MIL in that drives decently in alternate weather etc. Will check in more soon.

Trying to see the light

Well yesterday was a rough day. Had to go find something for my MIL so went driving around (didn't find it) and decided to stop by the local lake before going home as we'd promised Abby that we'd take her. My son wasn't with us because he was behind in school work and trying to get caught up before term end. (otherwise normally he would have been) and while we were there it was fairly nice. Good day at that point and we knew the weather would be getting bad the next day. Went and took a few pics of the water which is up (a good thing since in years past has been kinda low) checked out some of the work they'd done recently. Putting slabs of cement out by the grills and they had finished the playground area. My husband took my youngest over there to check it out and she got to pet a mule that came up to the fence. She decided it was a camel and kept telling me about petting a camel. :) Could not convince her otherwise. Finally it was getting about time to get home and take my mom's meds to her so went to head home and as we did there at the stop sign looked both ways nothing so hubby went to go foreward....then there was a blazer came out of nowhere flying down the hill and I kinda went oh crap we aren't going to make it and my husband looked up and saw them and hesitated for half a second and went to go on (like it was all in slow motion) and I watch it almost reliving the wreck I went through in my Skylark...again it is like watching something in slow motion and I felt myself brace for impact and then SLAM. They had not slowed at all and there was no way for them to stop. There are no words to describe how that much impact feels. We sat there for a second totally in shock. My youngest starts screaming in a panick so hubby checked on her and she was fine just scared. There was apparently another car that had just gotten within sight and they got out and started making sure everyone was okay. Turned out the other person was someone I knew. Thankfully everyone was okay. Their vehicle seemed to just have a cracked fender but that is just visual I can't say for myself what other damage it actually had. We were facing down another direction from where we had been going. The seatbelt had caught my neck and later my leg had a swollen knot on it but not sure from what and our van has a broken axle behind the tire and damage underneath and the sliding passenger door is dented in as well ( no opening that door ever again) as the wheel itself appears dented. All in all it is totaled due to axle damage and body damage (and whatever under neath that is not accounted for) having a friend maybe look at it anyway just to double check. We wound up stranded for a short few til someone else (yet someone else I know that lived nearby) was nice enough to stop and call a wrecker for us and that got us and the van home. Going to be adding a road side assistance thing on my phone bill after this. I think it would be worth it. It appears it is going to have to be scrapped and the tow service said they buy them so maybe will just sell it to them after we clean it out. Will not get enough for another vehicle though. Will be having to figure that out. Also living where we do utility bills are high. Almost 400$ this time around. Really hope to move in a year or two at most. We'll see if that happens the way we are hoping. Anyway sore today and unhappy about no van but otherwise grateful that people were not as injured as they possibly could have been and that there were several people stopped to check instead of driving on through and for the person that called the tow service so that we were not stranded. Grateful for all the nice people who we've been around and come in contact with lately. It revives my faith in people some.  Keeping with my calorie counting and all despite the stress. On another note I got a throwing knife set for Christmas and my husband got a matching one. Going to have to set up a target. Surely that counts as exercise even if just for the arms. I tried to learn knife throwing when I was a teen.  I'd like to get a hold of a basketball goal and play that as well. Not going to happen soon though. Can't wait til warmer weather to start going on walks again. Wish we had a YMCA or something closer. I'd go. We have a little gym but I miss being near one that has a little bit of everything. Plus they have a lot of kids programs that I always thought would be great to put the kids in but driving over to the next town just wasn't a possibility as often as we'd need to do so. In any case as always lots of ideas, thoughts, and plans just hoping to even get a few of them done :) 

Back in the Saddle

 Ice storm December 2013

Wow how long has it been since I blogged? Quite awhile. Fair warning as this will probably seem kind of roving and random but I have a lot of thoughts to spill. I had to take hiatus because honestly the last couple of years  or so were unbelievably overwhelming. I have been in sort of a personal learning curve/ soul search. I felt like my goals may never be achieved but now it seems like it just wasn't the right time for them yet and fingers crossed, knock on wood, and all that but it looks like this year has so much more potential and looks very promising. So far things have all ready started to turn around for us in a good way. As for myself I had lost track of a lot of things I was working towards. My health: I wanted to lose weight and get in better shape as w/ my lupus I will always have issues with getting sick and up til now I've let that stop me for periods of time from my goals as I stop when I get sick. I decided to go w/ Sparkpeople rather than myfitnesspal to keep track of my calorie counts/ exercise as it has small goals to hit every day and I think I can keep up with those better. I've done well in the past with all this but besides the health issues just all the stress going on in my life in general did not help. I am a little concerned this year as the severe reaction I had to cedar pollen last year nearly did me in and that time is coming up soon (end of Jan-Start of March) but as with most things like that I'd rather take preventative measures ahead of time to try and curb the problem or head it off at the start. I had been given the option of shots but wasn't able to do it. (have to go in every week and had transportation problems and couldn't) I've found there is something I can use though to keep from breathing it in and while I am nervous I am hoping it will help. On another note to curb the problem I had last year with having a very dangerous D3 deficiency (didn't know I had anything of the sort and the allergist caught it and sent me for testing and it was actually at a very dangerously low level) I've been taking that off and on during the winter to help. Anyway back to the health thing. One of the small goals is to do 10 min of exercise a day. I do about 3x that when I dance but I figure surely I can do at least 10 min on my bad days and keep up with that. I managed to get my BP down and it seems to be staying that way.  I figure when I get overwhelmed with the laundry or something (only female here other than my 4 yr old and my son thinks I have super vision when it comes to messes cause he thinks I'm the only one that sees it LOL) anyway I can do at least 10 min. of that a day. I am the type of person I have to accomplish SOMETHING during the day or I don't feel right. I feel of less worth and that isn't due to anyone else but just my own personal feelings. I have come to find I am much more of a goal oriented person than I ever realized. I like to set goals but I also become upset and depressed when I can't accomplish them. I find that setting smaller ones along side the big ones at least helps full fill that sense of accomplishment. One of my goals I set for this last year I feel I made headway in. To start going places w/my art. I got a painting done and while I had hoped to do so much more I have been working on that and getting sketches done as well. To me that is something. Another goal I had lost touch with and given up for a lost cause seems to be coming to light again as a very real possibility. I am not setting it in stone as I don't want to have my hopes dashed but I will soon find out if it is to come to fruitation or not as I am hoping. If so should start seeing that come to light this spring (as the weather warms up) I am happiest when I am getting things done. This particular one will make me super happy. I have felt stuck in a rut. Like I was happy before and everything came crashing down and with it everything I thought I knew and all the people I thought I knew so well or that I thought were there for me was not and were not. I will say I see everything as a lesson though and for me this was a lesson in finding myself in learning that I could stand on my own if need be. Actually more like a reminder as I've done so before. No matter how bad things get it is possible to make it through them. That I need to stop doubting myself and it helped me re-find my strength. Sometimes life finds funny ways of throwing lessons at you and they may be tough ones but they are done in such a fashion as you will undoubtedly learn from them. It may takes things from you so that you may further appreciate having them later or so that you can make room in your life for other things. Sometimes it is a temporary separation of paths that is needed as to allow room for growth.Also depend on no one but yourself. Trust no one fully but yourself.  You can never tell what it holds just have to hold on for the journey as life is a learning experience. I am learning that while I can't always help others as much as I want to I have to take care of myself as well. Something I was neglecting.  If I am not in a position to do something maybe I will be later on down the road. I have learned that I have my strengths as well as my weaknesses and I don't always recognize those strengths. However I also know I need a break from it all every now and then to recharge and I've been guilty of not allowing myself that. 

In this last year I've been spending what time that I can with my mom and sad that with my life being as crazy hectic as it is I don't have as much time to offer her (or anyone else really) that I'd like to. My mom found out that she has Parkinson's though we are in hopes that it is possibly due to a medication she was on instead. She was taken off that to see. She also is going through renal failure. One of those things where the dr is keeping tabs on it but no clue from one day to the next otherwise. I do what I can when I can but have had to learn to forgive myself that I cannot do more. I was letting it cut me to pieces before and that was no good for anyone. I felt like I was being pulled in 50 different directions at once all the time. I had to take time to separate myself from it all. Also I find it surprising the things people will believe about you from others despite what they may know themselves. It made me re-look at that myself as well. That I should never judge anyone on anything unless I know it for myself. Something that should be common sense anyway but I think everyone is guilt of at some point. 

Some things I see for this next year: One to continue working on my health and to try for at least 10 min. of exercise a day. 

Two: continue working on my art at least some each week if not daily. I have plans to at least try and enter something at the Pott. County fair this year and to try and get some things done to sell. I want to check out the First Friday thing in Shawnee sometime. My son also has plans to enter something in the county fair. He was looking this last year and realized his lego crafts are actually really good (something we've been telling him but as always some people don't take it from you LOL) I may start a gallery online to sell and I have promised someone a flash drive w/ some art and unfortunately have been unable to make it by to get it to them just yet. Will see if they still want it though hopefully soon. 

Three living arrangements: to get things more organized around my house. I've been working on this anyway though with my two oldest girls moving out we've been in constant rearrange mode. I am getting rid of a lot of stuff and we may not be in this house for another year or two so .....anyway. Not set in stone though. This particular house will be paid off in 2015 in about Feb or March... so in either case I don't have any plans to stick around this town really but I'd like to be close enough to still be around family. We had been so up in the air for the last couple of years what we were going to do house wise. Try to fix this one up which was going to cost a lot of money we don't have to basically rebuild the house in a way slowly draining us while we were unhappy living here in town to begin with. (outskirts would be fine even) OR trying to move which we thought one of those options wasn't going to happen and it still may...anyway we'll see. I think things will come into light more clearly this coming year. I guess going through my shed should be tacked on to this part. I have a lot of things in there to go through as well. 

Four continue learning and finding ways to improve my life

Five: I will becoming a grandma later in the year and my oldest is working hard on trying to get her life in order and I'd like to do as much as I can to help her out as I can. There are some things I just can not do but for those things I can I want to do what I can. We've had some pretty strong differences in the last couple of years and are working on our relationship. 

Waiting to see what my 2nd oldest does w/ hers and hoping she make the right choices. 

Basically in the last two years my entire life was dismantled and shattered almost completely but in a way that makes it easier to rebuild a new one. 

*now that I've been working on this blog for the past few hours with the phone ringing off the hook (not a bad thing was actually good things) and with doing stuff w/ my youngest.... I think that sums it up LOL :) I may write a much shorter blog here in a few. I will be trying to write more. I think it did me good to keep up with my blogs to get thoughts out when I couldn't otherwise. 

How long has it been?

Since I blogged? I don't think I have many moments where things aren't hectic or just busy. I really don't. I keep waiting on things to slow down but it never happens. Still doing my GF thing and down a couple of lbs so long as I can keep that off and keep going down. Not the reason I am on it but hey I'll take it! Anyway right now planning out some projects. Some sewing, some art, etc. For a sewing project (guys you may wanna skip this part more of a girl thing)  I kinda went with my own pattern to play around and see what works best but for most this is one of those girly topics but making your own washable feminine hygiene pads. Don't ask what made me think of this but after living in a house full of girls those can be costly and for me this is just a test type thing. See how it goes. I am using a different pattern but if you are interested here is where I read up how to do it. make your own pads They are commonly used where things are not so disposable all the time. I figure hey we have disposable diapers for babies so why not? Also they cost a ton to buy the washables on amazon etc. anyway.... off that topic. 
(okay guys if you skipped that part you can pick up here LOL) I would like to start sewing other things as well. I hand sew as I am not really knowledgeable with a sewing machine. I have tried but we had a full class in home ec and my teacher didn't have the time for every student or any of us really so I didn't get to even do my project back then. Something I'd like to learn anyhow. Might get some patterns for my fave. style of clothes and such if it would save money as well as I could actually wear things that were more my taste. (plus can get into selling them) Would love to make jewelry more but need a space to safely work with seed beads that I won't be all losing them or fighting with the lil one with that. (Hubby has same need there) Would like to work some with chain mail-esque things which actually seems to be becoming more popular right now. Also plan on actually doing more with my art. (this is an on going thing) I bought some stuff to try out some non-digital stuff and would like to get some water color block pads and do some mixed media which seems to what I do best with though I have worked in several mediums individually. Acrylic being a fave, ink, pencil........you get the idea. I like doing larger scale works and would LOVE to do some furniture refurbishing. Taking found tables and repainting them with my artwork to sell. The only thing is where we live they have a fit if you keep anything like that around even if you are working on it. I would like to have a work space for that. I've also seen pianos (some working) on craigslist that would be a BLAST to do! I am working more on my practicing with my digital art 

 my latest done on 2draw.net using the lascaux program. For some reason I am one of a lesser number of artists that prefers to use Lascaux. I feel more comfortable with that program. I feel it is also time for me to do more non digital work though. 

My youngest is starting school this year so at least for part of the day we will actually have some time to get some stuff done with out little hands to worry about :) I have another one leaving home this year too so will only have two kids still living at home. We are hoping other plans we've had that have sat on hold for like 2 years now may move forward or maybe some other future path will open up for us. It has been a rough couple of years though. I have been feeling more creative as of late though. I will blog more soon...I hope

Haven't had much time to blog

I keep hoping that life will slow down but instead it seems to just speed up. In any case we've been dealing with a sick lil girl as of late who had a really bad ear infection and wound up having her eardrum burst on one side and on the other the actual ear canal swelled up so much it was almost sticking out. Scary as hell for us. This happened really pretty rapidly it seemed and was despite her being on antibiotics. Thankfully the swelling went down and the ear drum healed quickly (they say it was a small perforation) We were told from here on out that she will most likely need earplugs in the bath and for swimming to prevent further infections. Something we are more than willing to do! This also put her behind a wee bit on shots which she needs as she is starting school this year. Barely get to get them in time. She even lost two teeth during this incident and has one of those two all ready partially coming in. Trying to decide if we are sending our other two to school or continuing to let them do online. I have one who wants to go back and one who has made it very clear that they do not want to. We'll see. Weighing the pros and cons and deciding.
As for me my D3 levels came up dramatically (from being dangerously low to being normal in about 4 months) so I get to go off that. Now I hope I can keep them up. Still sticking with the gluten free lifestyle and seeing no cause to go off of it ever. (Well especially because I can't breathe if I accidentally get some of it and it kills my stomach) anyway I am making it a bit further on my journey of discovery with it. I had tried to do it once before a few years ago but failed and what a difference that time span makes! Much easier now because a lot more people are changing to that dietary lifestyle whether for weight loss or for gluten intolerance or celiac issues. The thing is more people are finding they have that which is not such a good thing but for those of us who do have issues with it and may have suffered for years without knowing why...this means there are many more palatable things on the market that we can eat instead of buying what few nasty breads etc there were at the time. (reason for failing before) One thing is Betty Crocker has put out a whole line of gluten free stuff including bisquick which my hubby just found for me at our small local store. I was thrilled! I have a pancake mix that I am getting versatile with. (Making my own sausage egg mcmuffins with it and such) then my friend told me that Braum's has a good selection of stuff there. So we checked it out and they did. They had everything from Udi's muffins to breaded chicken and fish. Different pastas like macaroni and spaghetti and then bread mixes including cheesy bread and cinnamon rolls. I tried the Udi's double chocolate muffins which were good. We got the cinnamon roll mix (going to be a weekend project) and the cookie mix (also probably this weekend). You really do crave the breads and such. My kids and hubby all still eat just the regular stuff but I let them try mine and all say it is pretty good. I am trying to be more careful in reading ingredients as things like brown sugar syrup can have it added, etc. Even though a cereal may be a rice cereal they can still sometimes sneak that stuff in. I have an allergy problem anyway called globular sensation which essentially feels like you have a marble in your throat where the little divot is at the base. Annoying feeling. 
I just avoid what I can that I am allergic to and deal with it how I can.
Anyway right now our lives are kind of up in the air. I sense change but unsure how that will go etc for the rest of the year. Just have to wait and see I guess. A lot depends on our money situation and deciding what route to take with several things.