Patience

Is a virtue but something I am somewhat lacking in at the moment. I am chomping at the bit wanting to go and work on a long term project we have going (something we aren't saying much about at this time) Something that would put us in a better place in many ways. The only thing is apparently we are supposed to wait a bit or have something else we need to be doing because the weather hasn't been cooperating (though I can't complain because we do need the rain so just going to have to wait til things are dryer) Then I was having health issues with not much of an idea what was actually going on. Apparently I had an upper respiratory infection along with bronchitis which for me is something that seems to happen about this time of year though usually not this bad. Been waking up feeling like I was drowning and having trouble breathing in general though I didn't feel like I was congested just felt like I wasn't getting enough air. Thought I was having anxiety attacks but turned out it wasn't that really other than the lack of air was causing me to feel anxious. I apparently have it pretty bad and am supposed to be resting a lot. Something that is made worse in people with Lupus/Sjogren's. The nurse guy who was there actually knew right off what I was talking about when I told him I had Sjogren's when he was taking medical history down. One of those things that usually they just look at you like "huh?" but his wife had it and he said he totally understood. My immune system is pretty much nil right now which it has been for about the past year due to stress of all sorts. So tired of it. That is something I also hope will improve when we get this project progressing and finished. Anyway for the time being though have to be patient (maybe that is my lesson in this?) and wait and try to rest and get better as I am actually so weak that the littlest things make me very out of breath and dizzy. I HATE being idle. I've never been this weak...well okay not in a long long time. I will feel okay in between but it doesn't take much so I can't push it. I am back on my diet though as well while trying to make sure I get what I need. I go in to the dr. for a follow up soon and we'll see how things are then. Don't want it to turn into Pneumonia or something I can't fight off. Anyway tired of the hold ups but must endure through them because it would only make it take longer if I didn't. I am feeling very artistic right now as well so maybe that is something I need to be working on. There is always plenty to do. May not be the things I want to be doing right now but still ...   My mind is freer than my body right now. I guess I am needing to find some balance. There is a new life waiting but just need to be patient. I am feeling like I want to crank the music up and dive into my drawing for awhile. Maybe I will get to do that soon enough.  That is another thing that will bloom I believe when this project is more progressed. There will be so much more opportunity as far as that goes. I hate being so vague but unfortunately it is necessary at this point in time. 
On a totally unrelated note I really need new headphones. My kids have been using mine when at this computer and my son especially is a bit rough on them (very fidgety and sometimes would pull the cord when he was wheeling the chair around) so now It is very touchy as to whether I get music in both ears or not. Now he is using his own headphones (which he could have done the whole time) and so does my 2nd oldest and I am stuck with my semi-functioning ones. :/ Think we need cordless but right now would be happy with ones that work. 
Anyway the future is bright but we have to work for it. Have patience. 
*also look for me to go photo crazy when things start blooming around here :)