How do you start to heal?

I have done some healing over the years but I don't know how far I've really gotten. It doesn't take much to trigger the pain all over again or for me to relive the fear. The turmoil inside that erupts swirling around where I feel like I have to escape but from what? and how? I am an abuse survivor. This is something I wish I could just leave in the past and go on without another look back but it follows me through out my day to day life rearing its ugly head and causing me to crash back down unexpectedly. It clings to me like an unwelcome shadow when I look at how other people live their lives and I wish I could go about my own without such a struggle all the time. 

I want to be at peace. I really don't have any place to quiet my mind for awhile and let it all ease away. I used to draw for that and I really don't have the time or quiet space in the day to do that right now. I can hardly type this out right now with out my mind being cluttered by all the background noise in the room. It is hard to just rest mentally. 

I have found that sometimes typing it all out helps. I did have a blog going on myspace where I had a select few people to put this forth to. A sounding board if you will but I had let that go for awhile and I can tell it as I am feeling particularly stressed right now. Right now I am just rambling but I do plan on getting more down to the details of it all. I did it once before and I can do it again it is just hard for me. I put the link for this up on my facebook and like I said it is like baring my soul. Especially here. I guess a test run for writing it in a book? I would like to hear back from others who may have experianced situations like mine and would like to hear how they deal with it. It is hard for someone dealing with this. When you want to talk to someone about it not many people really want to listen. Especially when it is a life time worth. How do you vent about it when you need to? You can't let it build up inside for too long but what do you do? People alot of times why you react the way you do. They can't see inside your head and know what is going on there and  you aren't sure how to express it especially when you are wound up from it. By the time you are calm enough to explain it you don't feel like talking about it. I find writing a good way to express it because you can put some thoughts down and if you are interrupted you can come back to it later to continue them. You can think as you type so they aren't coming out in a jumble.  Drawing is another. For me it takes me someplace else for awhile while I work on it. Each line an expression of something. I usually listen to music while drawing and find that helps. I think I am going to have to come back to this because as of right now the kids are in the living room and being particularly loud and bouncing. I am having some trouble concentrating. :( I guess this is a start though however small it may be.